The Art of Cultivating Self-Love and Inner-Confidence

by Allie Stark, MS, RYT

Having self-love and inner-confidence is much easier said than done. It’s like knowing that we are supposed to eat more leafy green vegetables, but choosing the fries instead of the salad, because real motivation doesn’t come from knowledge – it comes from feeling and sensation.

Of course, we all know that we should be less hard on ourselves, stop focusing on what is “wrong” with us, and actively be placing more attention on what we do “right” or with ease and natural ability.

However, we live in a society that encourages and emphasizes the importance of outer-confidence, that which comes from accomplishing a goal, acquiring or achieving a status, or receiving a compliment or accolade from someone other than ourselves. So here are some thoughts on why the world has so much difficulty with self-love — and make sure to keep reading for a quick and easy-to-implement activity that will leave you feeling hot for yourself (I swear – after practicing this exercise for a week, I didn’t have a single negative thought about myself!). Remember, these are merely ideas – and I encourage you to feel into which ones resonate and which ones don’t.

  • Religion has taught us that self-love is bad: That it makes us arrogant and conceited. Loving yourself often has a negative connotation because of our upbringing.
  • We are taught to make love conditional: We have to meet certain conditions in order for us to be able to love ourselves. This is tricky territory because conditions are temporary and impermanent.
  • We keep focusing on our faults, thinking it is going to make us better:  Our beliefs create our behaviors. What we choose to put our attention on, we get more of in our lives.
  • We are looking for love in all of the wrong places: We think that love comes from external sources, when the only true form of love comes from within.
  • We are not identifying with the truth of who we are: At our core, we are whole and complete exactly as we are in this moment.

Activity to Help Build Self-Love and Inner-Confidence:

For the next week, I encourage you to write down, or share out loud with someone that you trust (invite them to also share back with you), five things that you love and appreciate about yourself every single day.  Don’t be shy! Don’t hold back! Brag! Be brave! Be bold… I dare you!

At the end of the week, notice how this exercise made you feel and if it has shifted your inner mean-girl-or-guy to be a little less cruel and a little more loving.

Loving on myself,
Allie

P.S. Want to learn more health and wellness tips and tricks? Check out my website and call 925.949.8604 today for a FREE 20-Minute Health Coaching Interview with me at Tara Natural Medicine!

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